


Games

by lary



Category: House M.D.
Genre: F/F, F/M, Flirting, Humor, Kissing, Lapdance, M/M, Never Have I Ever, Spanking, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-21
Updated: 2013-05-21
Packaged: 2017-12-12 12:50:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/811770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lary/pseuds/lary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>House wants everybody to play Truth or Dare. And that means everybody.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Games

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, let's throw in the tags for pairings... Some get more hot and heavy than others, but what can you do.
> 
> Be warned that this is a total self-indulgence. Canon-compliant except for a few small timeline changes. Hope you enjoy!

 

 

When House comes up with the idea of Truth or Dare, the people who actually want to play make up the second to shortest list.

The only enthusiastic person is Kutner, and he's joined by cut-throat bitch, who immediately senses the opportunity to weed out some of the competition. House approves of this strategy, wondering briefly if Team 2.0 will become an all-female one. Maybe Cuddy could even replace Foreman with Cameron.

The fantasies of his future in medicine are starting to strongly resemble an episode of L-Word, but House doesn't want to get too distracted from the job at hand, so he moves to intimidate the other easy targets. That is, those who are afraid of getting the axe. Thirteen protests the most vehemently, and House almost relinquishes his fantasy of the all-female team before she caves under pressure. Taub, Big Love and Henry all follow suit.

Foreman's smug smile doesn't waver until House holds him back with his cane when the rest of the team hurries to answer a page.

“House, the patient,” Foreman reminds him.

“Oh relax. I'm sure five doctors and the ridiculously old fraud are enough to keep her alive for a few minutes, even if they are completely incompetent.”

“And why do you believe you can talk me into another one of your games?” Foreman asks.

“Because you like the bisexual chick, and it'll take you much longer to get her to kiss you on your own.” House smirks when Foreman looked genuinely surprised that he's noticed.

“Even if I did like Thirteen, it would be a little self-serving for me to make her kiss me on a dare.”

“Ah-hah, but I can order her to kiss you. It's either that or I have the kids take your car to the car wash with windows open.”

That makes Foreman relent, and House lets him stalk out of the room.

He congratulates himself for a productive morning, swallowing a couple of Vicodins as a well-earned reward. He takes a break from all the hard work and digs out his Gameboy.

Once the space monkeys have gotten him a dozen times, House decides it's time to go hunt the big game. And by that, he's of course referring to the hospital administrator. Or, more specifically, her ass.

For once, Cuddy seems happy to see him enter her office, which can only mean trouble.

“You owe me fifteen clinic hours this week,” she says, smiling sweetly.

“I've only skipped four,” House complains. Figures that one of the kids has already tattled to mommy.

“Five. But getting me to show up tonight in your office at 8pm will cost you ten more.”

“Five more, and we'll use your office tonight. It's bigger.”

“My office, ten extra hours.”

House grimaces, and limps out from under her merciless smile.

 

**

 

Having spent an hour being tortured by unbelievable morons, House escapes the clinic and heads for the gallery of the OR in which Chase is performing an appendectomy.

House is a little worried about his former lap dog's newfound independence. However, the Australian turns out to be a case for the second to shortest list of people who actually want to play.

“Sure, sounds like fun,” he replies, causing House to almost have a stroke.

Once Chase is secured, he knows he doesn't need to bother with convincing Cameron. She'll be too worried over her boyfriend's innocence (like that's ever existed) to let him go alone.

With both his current and ex-employees in the bag, it's finally down to the shortest list – the people who secretly want to play, but have to be manipulated into it regardless. The only person on the list: boy wonder oncologist, James Wilson.

Thankfully, it's almost time for lunch. House barges into Wilson's office without knocking. Unfortunately he's not with a cancer patient House could harass. Then again, harassing Wilson is more interesting anyway.

“I'm not coming tonight,” Wilson says, without looking up.

“Of course you're not. I need you to buy me lunch.”

“Seriously, I'm not. And I heard a crazy rumour that the cafeteria is there even if I'm in my office.”

“I heard you the first time. They won't sell me anything.”

“Oh, and I'm sure you're just gonna let the issue slide. And they would if you paid,” Wilson notes, but he sets down the file and follows House to the elevators.

House waits until the cafeteria to pickpocket Wilson's car keys. He's got a feeling that Foreman will throw a temper tantrum if ordered to break into Wilson's Volvo.

 

**

 

House spends the first hour after lunch hiding from Cuddy, and the next one hiding from Wilson, who's probably noticed his missing keys at this point.

Three pages from Team 2.0 force House to check on the patient, since apparently nothing gets done if he doesn't do it himself. Once he's interrogated the patient long enough to make her admit to cheating on her husband, House orders treatment for the relevant STDs and throws Wilson's keys to CB.

_I really should keep that girl_ , House thinks, as she takes off to hide the Volvo to an unspecified, far away location.

 

**

 

At 7.30pm, Wilson comes to the coma guy's room, where House is watching General Hospital. He no longer needs to hide, as CB is back from her assignment.

“Good, you're just in time to see the triplets being born,” House says. “Want a beer?”

“I told you, I'm not coming to the game,” Wilson says, ignoring the generous offer.

“I know.”

“So give me back my car keys.”

“No problem,” House says, throwing the keys to the oncologist.

“That easy?”

“Sure.”

“All right,” Wilson says a little sceptically. “See you tomorrow, House.”

“See ya!” House answers cheerily, and Wilson takes off.

He's back ten minutes later. “House, where the hell is my car?”

“No idea,” House replies truthfully.

Wilson sighs and drops into the chair on the other side of coma guy, accepting the beer this time.

 

**

 

At 8pm they are all in the office of Lisa Cuddy, the Dean of Medicine.

House sits on Cuddy's couch with Foreman, the only person from Team 2.0 who braved sitting next to their boss. Cuddy sits comfortably behind her desk. The rest of the doctors are scattered around Cuddy's office, some perched on the furniture and others sitting on the floor. House has an alarming array of scotch bottles on the floor to his left. He clears his throat authoritatively.

“We're starting with Never Have I Ever. House rules. We go round, everybody makes a statement about something they've never done. Those who've done it, drink. If only one person has done it, they'll do two shots.”

“I thought we were doing Truth or Dare,” Kutner comments, a little disappointedly.

“We will, keep your pants on,” House orders him. “Now, the punishment for being a moron and saying something nobody has done is doing three shots. Same goes if you're lame enough to never have done something everybody else has.”

“We're all gonna be seriously hammered,” Kutner says, not sounding regretful in the least.

“You just don't know when to shut up, do you?” House scowls, before going on. “No refusals, no whining. No exchanging life stories, facts only. And no fishing for revelations that will get people fired. By Cuddy, that is, I'm happy to fire any of you.”

“Now, the cripple starts,” House says. His gaze sweeps over the room in search for an unfortunate target, before landing on Wilson. He grins widely. “I've never been on a date with three different oncology nurses on the same day.”

Wilson blushes, before downing two shots.

“Taub, you're up!” House says.

Taub has a slight suspicion that House is using the game for the double purpose of revealing his best friend's embarrassing secrets and getting him drunk simultaneously. However, he doesn't feel like competing for a job is a valid reason for helping your boss humiliate another department head.

Not that the scenario was ever covered in the medical ethics course.

He settles for something fairly generic. “I've never cheated on a test.” House and Foreman drink to that.

Next up is Henry. “I, for one, have never chosen watching America's Next Top Model over baseball,” he says.

“Why, again, did you invite ridiculously old fraud over for a beer?” House asks Wilson as they both take a shot.

Cuddy seems to be enjoying her turn. She smiles wickedly, looking around the room in a way that reminds everybody of the fact that she owns the hospital and all of their asses. She doesn't waste time with articulating the same thing it in a verbal form.

“I have never had the hots for a boss of mine.”

“Well played, Sir,” House says, looking impressed. He empties his own glass, and then watches with interest as the bottle goes around and Henry, Amber, Thirteen, Wilson, Cameron, and Foreman drink up.

“I've never owned a car,” Cole says. It looks like he might have to do three shots, but surprisingly Henry is the person who drinks up.

“Seriously, you've never had a car in your whole life?” Taub asks him disbelievingly. He's not surprised about Cole, who's a young black guy with a kid, but Henry is the oldest one around.

“I simply use my horse-drawn carriage, as was the way when I was young,” Henry explains.

“Hey, which part of no life stories did you not understand?” House huffs, glaring at them to shut up. “Let the Wombat speak!”

Chase smiles. “Well. I have never lied to a con artist about a paternity test to make my friend happy.”

When House glares and empties two glasses of shots, Wilson looks at him in puzzlement. “Who?”

“Crandall,” Chase supplies.

Wilson's eyebrows shoot up. “Wow.”

“Oh, shut up,” House says. “CB!”

“I've never been thrown into custody in a medical conference,” Amber says.

Thirteen is puzzled by the statement, before she sees the way House smiles. Thirteen feels her palms start sweating as she watches Wilson down two shots. Amber is scoring points with House, and she's clearly done her homework, for Thirteen has no idea what she's talking about, which means it's not part of the usual hospital gossip.

She quickly tries to think of something that would make House happy, i.e. Wilson drink, and still wouldn't be so personal that it would make the oncologist hate her guts. Thankfully, there's a piece of hospital gossip she is familiar with that works for her purposes.

“I've never gotten married,” Thirteen says. She smiles as Wilson, Cole, Taub, and Henry make to reach for their glasses, continuing, “...for a third time.”

“Oh, for God's sakes,” Wilson huffs. House grins, pouring his friend two more shots.

Wilson is up next. He drinks up and then smiles fondly at House, who shivers. He knows Wilson's revengeful expression when he sees it.

“Never played Queen's 'You're My Best Friend' on the piano for somebody's birthday.”

“Aww, that's so sweet, House,” Cuddy smiles.

House scowls and downs two shots, swearing to get Wilson on the next round.

Cameron is up next. “I've never gotten arrested,” she says.

“Shocking,” House remarks, doing a shot along with Thirteen, Kutner, Foreman and Wilson.

“I've never believed in God,” Kutner says, making Taub, Henry, Cole, Chase, Foreman and Wilson drink up.

Last up is Foreman. “I've never had unprotected sex,” he says, glancing meaningfully at Cameron and Chase.

“We're gonna need the fourth bottle,” House mutters. Then he glances around the room at the embarrassed expressions and hands that are reaching for their shot glasses. He smirks. “Or, maybe not.”

“Seriously people. Everybody? You're all doctors!” Foreman says indignantly, before downing three shots.

“All right, second round, twice the efficiency,” House declares. “Two birds with one stone: never kissed a patient,” House says, handing a drink to Chase and Wilson.

Cuddy eyes them suspiciously. “I don't want to know.”

“Oh, there's a lot more to it that you don't wanna know,” House says, winking.

“Don't,” Wilson says warningly. Chase looks like he's holding his breath.

“Right, my own rules. Chop chop, Taub!”

Taub was too busy to thank his lucky stars that his affair had been with a nurse rather than a patient to think of something to say. He tries to think quickly, but doesn't come up with anything that would make his boss happy. “I've never owned a pet,” he says, slightly panicked. House rolls his eyes, but, luckily for Taub's job prospects, Wilson is one of the people who drink to that.

“I haven't done drugs,” Henry says, causing an argument between House and Wilson, who refuses to drink because the only times he's been on drugs have been when House has drugged him against his will. Finally House, Thirteen, Chase, and Kutner do shots, and the next turn can take place.

“I have never had a patient sue me,” Cuddy says.

Taub empties his drink with Chase and House. He's surprised that Wilson isn't drinking, considering the the amount of patients he treats. “You've never had a lawsuit in your whole career?” Taub asks the oncologist.

“No. However, I'm thinking House should do more than one shot with this one,” Wilson notes.

“Not if I only needed to do one with the previous one,” House remarks. “Now, c'mon, Big Love.”

Cole is interested in a rumour going around the hospital, and risks three shots with: “I have never been punched by a mob guy.”

It seems that the rumour is true, because Chase takes two shots. He doesn't elaborate before he grins and follows up with his own statement.

“I've never had a secret crush on my best friend.”

Nobody notices who else drinks, because all eyes are moving between House and Wilson. Both department heads stare at Chase stunned for a moment and then empty their glasses, resolutely not looking at each other. Even those afraid of House's wrath aren't quite able to hide their amusement.

“Move it along, CB, or get fired,” House growls at Amber, who's well-prepared as always.

“I've never spent 25 minutes blow-drying my hair,” she says.

Wilson looks to Thirteen, Cuddy, and Chase for moral support, but none comes, and House pours him two shots with rediscovered glee.

Thirteen feels the pressure acutely, following Amber. She can't think up anything about Wilson. The other person House seems happiest to target is Chase, despite the fact that the Australian isn't too bothered. She figures that, having worked for House, he must be used to it, and decides to go with a rumour she heard about a former patient.

“I've never been to a BDSM club,” Thirteen says, glad that she's stuck mostly to vanilla gay scene. House grins when Chase takes a shot, along with Kutner. But the next sound makes Thirteen realise she's inadvertently hit a jackpot.

“Um...” Wilson is blushing.

House's slack-jawed expression reveals that this is the first truly new thing he's uncovered about his friend during the evening. “Why, _Jimmy_ ,” he leers, making Wilson look like he wants earth to swallow him.

Wilson empties his glass before retaliating with: “I have never been kind enough to bail a complete stranger out of custody.”

House scowls and drinks two shots.

“Who knew our boss is secretly such a nice man,” Taub comments, earning a glare.

Cameron has a plan for her turn. “I have never fired somebody and regretted it,” she says. Wilson and Cuddy drink without further ado, and House joins them uncomfortably, with a sideways glance towards Chase.

Next, Kutner scores easy points by stating that he's never had an affair, making Wilson and Taub drink.

Foreman grins smugly. “After last round, I feel pretty safe with saying I've never had an STD,” he says, and a number of people take a shot, somewhat sheepishly.

House clears his throat. “Third round, three birds. I've never had sex with a co-worker in the infamous janitor's closet,” House says, causing Wilson, Chase and Cameron drink.

At this point mostly everybody is drunk enough to have lowered inhibitions, but also a lowered capacity to come up with good statements. House is starting to get bored, until cut-throat bitch is up.

“I've never had sex while drunk,” Amber says. Everybody can see that she's managed to do it again, judging by Wilson's deep blush, and the satisfaction House seems to be getting, this time from the fact that Wilson isn't drinking.

But it's only when House is about to fill Cole's glass that Amber really smiles. “Oh, he can't really say the same,” she comments casually.

House's grin widens to something evil. “Excellent work, CB.”

When Wilson's coming up, House pours himself two shots, muttering, “I've got a feeling I'll be needing these.”

“I've never spent the holidays wearing a bright blue sweater knitted by my best friend's grandmother, after his whole family told me it matches my eyes,” Wilson says.

Everybody laughs when House grimaces and empties both of the glasses.

They're nearing the end of the third round, and all have lost count of the bottles emptied by this point. Cameron has had to drink less than many others, but she still hopes to avoid more alcohol. Luckily, she's come up with something she's pretty sure not everybody can say.

“I've never kissed a person who's the same gender as myself,” Cameron states victoriously. She's curious to see how many people can decline a drink, but before she can find out, House's cane traps the bottle.

“Nope, not doing that one just yet,” House announces. “Saving it for after Truth or Dare. Pretty sure more people will have increased experience by then,” House winks.

The diagnostician drinks the rest of the scotch straight from the bottle, closing it and setting the empty bottle in the middle of the floor.

“Now, since I robbed you from the possibility to see whether your boyfriend goes both ways, why don't you take the first turn spinning,” House says, flashing Cameron a honeyed smile.

She stares at him for a second, not quite sure how to react, caught by the fact that she hadn't even considered that Chase might be among the people taking a shot, and annoyed that House can no doubt see that with his usual scrutiny. She resolves herself to asking Chase about it later, and spins before she has more time to think about why she should care about the answer at all.

The bottle ends up pointing at Cuddy.

“Truth.”

Cameron hesitates for a second, as there is something she's been dying to know. She's a little embarrassed about asking, but not enough to stop herself from doing it.

“Have you had sex with House?”

Pretty much everybody turns to look at Cuddy with interest.

“Yes,” Cuddy says, unfazed. “I wouldn't recommend it, though,” she adds, smiling sweetly.

“That's not the impression you gave the other day,” House leers.

Cuddy ignores him and walks over from behind her desk to spin the bottle. When it stops at Foreman, she smiles.

“How many tattoos do you have?” Cuddy asks, flirtatiously, when Foreman picks truth. It seems the Dean has switched gears off work mode, despite their location in her office.

Foreman's smile is somewhat surprised, but he also looks flattered, confirming three tattoos before spinning the bottle. He grins when it lands on his other boss.

“Truth,” House says.

“You never went on a second date with Cameron. Was that because you were still in love with Stacy?”

House doesn't look pleased. For a moment some of them wonder if he's going to bail from his own game. Cameron seems to be on the edge of her seat.

“No,” House then says, defiantly. Foreman doesn't look surprised, but the same cannot be said for many others.

“Why then?” Cameron asks.

House switches back to his usual biting demeanour. “Not your turn,” he snaps, spinning the bottle, directing black stares at everybody who might be thinking of asking that question if they get a chance.

House brightens visibly, when the bottle stops at Cole.

“Dare,” Cole says, no doubt trying to avoid House interrogating him about his religion. However, House's grin tells them that this has backfired.

“You'll need to kiss a guy.”

“I can't do that,” Cole says, setting his jaw determinedly.

House is up in a flash, and limps to the other side of the room to tower over him. “We're not gonna have another one of those arguments where I show you why your religion is pointless, are we?” House asks menacingly.

“There's no point to any of this!” Cole argues, staring up at House indignantly.

“Sure, nobody's life hangs in the balance this time, but your imaginary God might frown upon it when your kid goes hungry once I've fired you.”

“You can't fire me because of my religion.”

“Don't give a shit about your religion, as long as you do as your told,” House growls.

“I'm not going to do it.”

“You think God cares where your lips have been?” House mocks.

“Fine, you asshole!” Cole yells. House's eyes widen in shock when the younger man springs up and kisses him on the mouth before grabbing his jacket and storming out of the office.

“Don't worry. I doubt God is contagious,” Taub comments, eliciting laughs.

House recovers quickly. “Big Love has spread enough of the love for tonight, so my turn again,” he says and gives the bottle a spin before limping back to his seat.

“Cool, dare!” Kutner says when the bottle lands on him. He looks like Christmas has come early, anticipating something amazing from House.

“Hmmm, what would be good...” House ponders, scratching his chin for a long moment. “Oh, yes, now I have the perfect idea. Since you're enjoying this game so much, you can do the ten clinic hours assigned by Cuddy as payment for her attendance.”

There are several laughs when Kutner's face falls. Cameron touches his shoulder reassuringly. “At least you won't get fired before you've finished them.”

Thirteen is less than excited when the bottle points at her next. There's no way she'll pick truth with House around. When she goes for dare, Kutner scores easy points from House by telling her to kiss a girl.

Thirteen looks around contemplatively. Not too many women to pick from. There's a reason why Amber is called cut-throat bitch, so she's out. And Cameron is just way too nice and pretty and... well, straight.

That leaves Cuddy.

It might be a stupid idea to kiss somebody who runs the whole hospital, but she is a gorgeous woman, and doesn't seem adverse to the idea when Thirteen catches her eye. In fact, the smile Cuddy gives her is surprisingly interested. Thirteen wastes no time, getting up and walking to the office chair she sits in, leaning in to kiss her.

When Cuddy's lips press against hers, soft and warm and moving, she forgets for a moment that she's in a room full of people. She runs her fingers through her hair (because really, who wouldn't), and gasps a little when Cuddy's tongue brushes against hers.

House's wolf-whistle brings Thirteen back to her senses, and she breaks away, unsure of whether to be grateful of the reminder of their surroundings or annoyed by the interruption. She glances at Cuddy, whose eyes have a mischievous glint and she decides to go for the former, because the older woman looks like she wouldn't mind a more private recurrence. Thirteen gives her a quick smile and returns to where she was sitting. She spins the bottle, still feeling a little dazed.

“Truth.”

When Thirteen realises the bottle points towards House, she's momentarily stumped. Then she looks at House and smirks. _Awesome._ The guy who digs into other people's personal lives and into her personal life so mercilessly, and here's her chance to do the same.

From his apprehensive expression, Thirteen can see that House is thinking along the same lines. Right now, she could ask anything, and House would be forced to answer. Possible questions go through her head, things that she knows House doesn't want anybody to know, about his feelings or relationships or personal life.

She's still basking in the possibilities, when she's stopped by House's expression. He looks... afraid. And not just that, he's letting her see that, practically pleading with his eyes. And suddenly the joy she was feeling vanishes.

_Damn_ , Thirteen thinks, more than a little annoyed. It's not like House deserves the break, it's not like he gives anybody else the privilege of privacy.

But then she realises with a start that that's not exactly true. House _has_ been going easy on them tonight. Sure, he's been happy enough to torture people when given the chance, but he hasn't brought up anything really personal, rather going for easy, only slightly embarrassing things. And he's set up the game, and picked a truth now, giving her a chance to wound, hoping that she won't.

Thirteen looks into House's eyes and suddenly wonders whether House's motives for this game might be somewhere deeper.

Everybody's waiting for her to ask something already, and she makes up her mind.

“If you could take one of your current or former fellows to a deserted island with you, who would it be?”

“Do I have to take somebody?” House asks.

“Yes,” Thirteen says, smiling sweetly.

“Fine. I'd take the lunatic who 'cured polio'. Unlike here, he might actually be useful in the jungle.”

House's spin stops at Foreman, who picks truth with an expression that's pissed off in anticipation.

“Well,” House says, sounding way too pleased. “You drank earlier, to having had a thing for your boss. Was that for Cuddy, me, Marty Hamilton, or all of the above?” House asks, waggling his eyebrows.

“You know what – fuck you,” Foreman growls and makes a dramatic exit.

House grins at Cuddy. “I'm guessing you still won't let me fire him.”

“Nope,” she says, with an enigmatic smile.

House doesn't seem disappointed. “Well, it seems both representatives of the affirmative action constituency of my employees are particularly sensitive tonight. Good thing I'm here to play on their behalf,” he says genially, spinning the bottle again.

“Dare,” Amber says.

“Why don't you give a lap dance to somebody,” House orders. “Take your pick.”

“Of course,” Amber says, immediately going through people in her head.

Privately she's most interested in Wilson, but this is business. Amber has a suspicion that there is a very thin line between what House sees as teasing Wilson and what he considers paying too much attention to him. A lap dance would have a high likelihood of the latter, and she moves to other candidates.

What makes it challenging is that in order to make it good, the recipient must be at least moderately into it. That is likely why House has chosen the assignment – many of them hate her with passion. But Amber, of course, isn't one to turn away from challenge.

_Ah, excellent_ , she thinks, when she remembers the kiss between Thirteen and Cuddy and gets an idea. _There_ is something House will definitely appreciate.

Amber stands up and smiles flirtatiously around the room. She knows she looks stunning in the red suit that she's changed into for the evening. All eyes are on her, which is exactly the way she wants it, feeling the buzz of excitement warming her skin.

“Music, please,” she says.

House grins, getting a portable stereo from under the sofa. “Luckily, I've got the perfect thing,” he says, pressing play.

Amber almost laughs when she recognises the song as Down in Mexico.

_Apparently House is trying to make this good rather than difficult_ , she thinks, remembering vividly the lap dance scene from Death Proof. Making it as sexy as Vanessa Ferlito had, that's a challenge Amber is willing to embrace. To start with, the recipient will definitely be hotter than Kurt Russell.

“ _Down in Mexicali_...”

The song starts, and Amber makes her way towards the office chair, walking with slow, seductive steps. She tunes out everybody but Cuddy, focusing on the task at hand. The other woman doesn't look as interested as she did when Thirteen went to kiss her, but her expression is a smile that is slightly amused.

Cuddy is clearly well aware of the game, and Amber can work with that.

She stops in front of Cuddy, not quite close enough to touch, and starts moving her hips slowly, dancing to the music, never breaking eye contact. She has the read on Cuddy well enough to know that the biggest turn ons for her are the same things that do it for Amber. She locks her eyes with Cuddy's and lets it all show on her face. Confidence, intelligence, sex appeal. The heat of a challenge, the pleasure of success, the thrill of power.

“ _He wears a red bandana_  
 _Plays a cool piana_  
 _In a honky tonk, down in Mexico..._ ”

A faint colouring starts rising on Cuddy's cheeks, and Amber feels the heady sense of desire start building up deep. She knows it shows on her face, evident her movements, and Cuddy flushes into a deeper shade of red. There's definitely interest there, now.

“ _He wears a purple sash, and a black moustache  
In honky tonk, down in Mexico..._ ”

Amber lets her smile become more seductive, moving closer to Cuddy and getting down at her feet. They're not quite touching when Amber moves upwards slowly, letting her breathing be like a warm caress on Cuddy's skin when she moves over her breasts and along her neckline.

Cuddy's shiver tastes like victory.

Amber gets up when the music changes to a quicker part, turning her back to Cuddy, dancing faster.

“ _All of a sudden in walks a chick_  
 _In Mexico_  
 _Joe starts playin' on a Latin kick_  
 _In Mexico_ ”

She moves to the music, letting her gaze sweep over the room, using her body to get everybody's eyes fixed on her, feeling their gazes hot and intense on her skin, like physical touches.

“ _Around her waist she wore three fishnets  
In Mexico_

_She started dancin' with the castanets  
In Mexico_ ”

Amber feels Cuddy's hands on her hips, holding on gently, feeling her move. She closes her eyes and loses herself into the movement, the feeling of her colleagues' looks on her body in odd contrast with the intimacy of Cuddy's presence near her.

_  
_“ _I didn't know just what to expect_  
 _In Mexico_  
 _She threw her arms around my neck_

_In Mexico_

_We started dancin' all around the floor  
Until she did a dance I never saw before_ ”

The music slows down again, and Amber focuses her attention fully on Cuddy again, moving her body closer to her, pressing her ass into Cuddy's lap, moving slowly. The other woman's heavy breathing on her sends warmth spreading through her.

Amber turns to sit sideways on Cuddy's lap and moves her hands slowly over her own body. The intensity in Cuddy's eyes catches her and holds her in a way that made her feel hot all over. The other woman has her mouth slightly parted, arousal showing on her face in a very subtle way. Amber is sure her own is no more visible, but it must be evident to Cuddy, radiating off her body.

When the last chorus ends, followed by the last lyrics, Amber gets up and moves further, dancing slowly to the last tunes. She laughs lightly when the song ends and there's a silence in the room.

“It's a good thing I chose a woman, you boys wouldn't be able to stand up for a while after that,” Amber notes, glancing over the room, smiling victoriously, especially at seeing House's impressed expression.

_Didn't expect me to pull it off quite like that_ , she thinks, satisfied.

When Amber spins the bottle, many people shift in their seats as if woken from a trance. None of them are surprised when it stops at Wilson – no doubt Amber has the determination to make it point at whomever she wishes to.

“Dare.”

“I'm thinking you should call any one of your ex-wives and tell them about how much fun you've been having tonight,” Amber says, smiling sweetly.

Wilson looks at her, stunned. “But it's already midnight, I can't call anybody now,” he protests, a little feebly.

“Tomorrow, then, and don't leave anything out,” Amber smiles innocently. The oncologist seems grateful, but many doubt it's from any goodness of her heart, a belief strengthened by House's lack of protest.

Next, Wilson gets truth from Cuddy. “Did you consider House as a sperm donor when doing fertility treatments?” he asks.

“Yes. Very briefly, as you can all imagine,” Cuddy says, and people laugh.

Cuddy stands up and walks to the centre of the room. She suddenly commands everybody's attention in a very professional way.

“As the Dean of Medicine, it is my responsibility to ensure the equality and fairness policy is adhered to,” she starts, giving the bottle a businesslike spin. “So far, there has been one kiss and one lap dance between women. However, there has only been one kiss between men, and that certainly lacked passion. I would like to correct the situation.”

“Right,” Chase says, when the bottle stops and points to him. He doesn't hesitate before walking over to Kutner and leaning down to kiss him. Kutner answers with surprise and enthusiasm and, from what others can see, plenty of tongue.

Amber smiles michievously. “Those two would make some excellent gay porn.”

Chase breaks the kiss with a soft laughter, and Kutner grins. “At least I'll know what to do for money if I'm the one getting fired next,” he remarks.

Chase spins the bottle nonchalantly, and it lands on Amber, who picks truth for a change.

“From everybody gathered in this room, who would you pick for a threesome?” Chase asks.

“I think House and Wilson would be an interesting combination,” Amber replies.

Wilson's blush is extremely pretty, but House glares at her. “You're not supposed to pick two middle-aged men when there are all these hotties with breasts to choose from.”

Amber doesn't seem the least bit worried. Her skilled fingers have the spin land on Wilson, again, and it seems she's been saving some of her best ammunition for last. “Now, you boys ever had a twosome?”

“No, of course not” Wilson sputters.

“Oh. Too bad,” Amber comments, causing Wilson to blush even harder. House smirks.

“Seriously, never?” Kutner sounds surprised, and possibly a little disappointed.

“You hang out with them. That true?” Taub asks Henry.

House rolls his eyes. “What, you think we'd do it in front of ridiculously old fraud?”

“I can confirm that these two have never touched during the evenings we've spent eating take-out on House's couch,” Henry says.

“I assume we're not counting the verbal fondling,” Thirteen mutters.

“I would appreciate if everybody could stop focusing on me and House now,” Wilson says. He rubs his neck self-consciously and gives the bottle a spin.

“Sure, at least until one of you gets a dare,” Amber smiles sweetly.

“You do realise we can just pick truths, don't you?” Wilson asks her, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course you can,” she purrs.

_Damn, she sure knows how to score points with House_ , Thirteen thinks, resolving herself to get the next dare on House. She sees most of the new team members thinking the same, but for the next few spins it seems the bottle is avoiding House resolutely.

Next turn lands on Taub, and Wilson is interested to know if he's considered becoming stricter in his religious practice after they had the hasidic Jew as a patient. Taub's answer is cut short by impatient House.

“Okay, you two, form a club for wannabe-religious Jewish philanderers and continue to talk God there. This is supposed to be fun.”

Taub shuts up and spins quickly

“Dare, please,” Cuddy says, when it stops on her.

“If you'd do twenty push-ups,” Taub says, smiling a little embarrassed.

Cuddy grins, amused, but she gets up from behind her desk, and people scramble fast to give her room.

The angle of the push-ups provides an unobstructed view of her cleavage. Unsurprisingly, House's leer is the most obvious one, but the sight is appreciated somewhat more discreetly by pretty much everybody else regardless of gender and location on the Kinsey scale.

“Good work Taub,” House remarks, when Cuddy finishes and spins the bottle.

Cameron picks a dare and Cuddy thinks for a moment. “Well, since you're straight, why don't you kiss whomever you like, as long as it's not Chase.”

Expectant glances are directed towards House, but Cameron smiles and kisses Henry, who doesn't seem to mind in the least.

“I've been surpassed by an older man,” House says regretfully.

“I guess you'll just have to keep relying on Wilson to be your wingman, you'll have better chances,” Henry comments, making almost everybody laugh.

When Amber picks dare, Cameron seems satisfied. “I want you to do something nice to all your co-workers during next week.”

“Sure,” she comments absently, spinning the bottle. Her expression turns to an evil smile when it stops at Chase.

“Since you hang out at BDSM clubs, it's probably nothing new for you to get spanked in front of an audience,” Amber says. “Your girlfriend can administer,” she then adds, generously.

A lot of people stare stunned when Chase merely shrugs and turns to look at Cameron.

“That's a little much...” Cameron says, looking uncertain, with slight colouring on her cheeks.

“It's alright,” Chase says, unbuckling his belt and handing it to Cameron like it's the most natural thing to do. He then walks to lean against Cuddy's desk, the hair falling on his face and hiding his expression.

Cameron looks at him for a little while, but seems to make up her mind. She lowers his jeans midway to his thigh, but leaves the black boxers on. The ten hits get delivered with an accuracy that leaves no doubt that they've done that kind of thing before.

Chase looks a little red as he puts the belt back on, but he smirks as his spin stops at House.

“Dare.”

“Maybe you should be spanked, as well,” Chase says nonchalantly. House gives him a stony look, and the Australian laughs. “Kidding. Alright, let's see that kiss already.”

“You come to the cripple,” House motions to Wilson, who moves closer a little hesitantly.

As soon as Wilson gets close enough, House uses his drunken lack of balance to his advantage, pulling him down to sit on his lap and kissing him with enthusiasm. Wilson answers a little surprised, at first, but he's soon meeting House's vigour, groaning into the kiss unabashedly.

“Should we give them some privacy?” Cameron asks, despite having just spanked her boyfriend in the middle of the same room.

“No way in hell. I'm not going to have them fucking in my office,” Cuddy says decidedly, glaring at House, who's too occupied with Wilson's tongue to pay her any attention.

“Well, Wilson had never had sex while drunk, so it probably doesn't work...” Kutner says. The two men are ignoring their audience, and by this point the kissing is more like frottage.

“From where I'm sitting, looks like it's working just fine now...” Amber comments.

Wilson breaks the kiss and scrambles up, looking a little flustered.

“Alright, me and the missus are gonna retire for the night,” House states, not breaking eye contact with Wilson until the other man turns away and heads for the door with determination. House follows hastily, before turning back at the door.

“Oh, and I almost forgot: Cameron, you can drink the three last shots now.”

 

 


End file.
